Gosh, guys. I'm sorry, but all of my blog posts are going to be me being annoyingly happy it seems...simply because I'm extremely happy lately. I'm at a point lately, where I don't even want to be anywhere else. I'm not longing for somewhere else or for something else. I'm glad to be right where I am. I often think, "I'm so happy I'm not in Rexburg right now." I mean, Rexburg is awesome, but I am not missing it at all right now. And I'm kind of worried about my happiness, almost, because I have great adventures up ahead (Alaska and Europe) and I'm not even longing for those. I'm glad to be in the moment, not yearning for the future, which is a good thing, but also makes me wonder if I should just stay where I am right now, haha. But then the thought of going to Alaska does still excite me and give me peace. I'm just glad I have about a month and a half until I go.
Tonight was the best. I worked with Taylor and Taylor and I just click! Actually, I think Taylor might click with everyone. She's just that kind of person which makes her awesome. But we especially click and have a good time together. I can be completely myself; my silly, goofy, laughing all the time, somewhat crazy, friendly, ridiculous self. I can dance and sing and shout and do silly things. I like the kind of people that I can be like that around. They make me feel more in the moment and alive, or something, I don't know, haha. But anyways, we had the doors open, so it felt like summer. We had good music playing. We had friendly customers come in. And we just had a blast. And she said I'm her favorite co-worker to work with, which made me extremely happy! Ohhhhhh, I love my co-workers. Honestly, I do. They drive me up the walls sometimes, but I love them. A guy that I was, ahem....somewhat obsessed with from 8th grade all the way until, pretty much the end of high school, just started working with us, so we'll see how that goes! I've changed a lot since I last saw him, so I'm excited to really get to know him as a friend, and not the boy crazy teenager that I was!
I've nannied for Krissa the past two days, which meant getting up at 6:00 A.M and watching her 6 month year old baby until 4:00 P.M, then heading off to work at 5:00 P.M and getting home at around 11:30 P.M. I did that one of the days, and the other day I took off work at Golden Spoon for my mom's birthday. But anyways, the long days of working exhausted me! Taking care of a baby is A LOT of work. My arms are getting stronger from holding him so much. I take him on hour long walks, so that we can pass some time. Yesterday, we walked through these very fancy neighborhoods. The sun was shining, there were palm trees all around, and the neighborhood was GORGEOUS. Everything felt so happy. And it was a small spark to my somewhat chaotic and tiring day.
So far, I have almost everything ready for Alaska. I've bought almost all of the things that I would normally be able to buy at the store on a regular basis (razors, deoderant, etc.), so that I won't have to worry about ordering those things from Alaska, which would cost a lot of $$$. If I wanted to go to a store in Alaska, I'd have to ride on a float plane just to get to the store, which is sure as heck not happening the entire time I'm there. That would cost a lot of $$$. It's so weird planning your life, knowing you won't even have access to a store. We sure take those things for granted! I'm taking flannels, fleece jackets, a rain jacket, jeans that can get dirty, comfortable pants, rain boots, and slip on shoes. I also need to bring some clothes that I can wear when temperatures reach up to 115 degrees. Alaska sounds like a weird place. Really high highs and really low lows. San Diego is always just in the 70-90 degree range, haha. I also take that for granted. Actually, I don't think I take it for granted, because I'm thankful that I'm in San Diego, literally every single day! It's theeee beeeesssttt plaaaceee ever.
New subject. I'm changing subjects extremely fast. I realize that. I should be doing bullet points or something but whatever! They took the windows out of my house the other day and put in new ones. The windows were all gone for awhile, so I could literally walk through the place where the windows were, instead of using the door. Anyways, it felt soooooo summary without the windows! I wanted to eat Mac & Cheese and watch Arthur, because I got this feeling of summer and childhood and happiness (I've been saying the word "happy" way too much) Ughhhhhh, it was great. There were all these stinky (I'm just assuming they were stinky), but nice men, in my house and I liked all the chaos, for some reason. And then being the weird person that I am, I took a nap on the couch (because there were men in my room, working on my window), surrounded by all these men working. When my mom and siblings got home, I was laying on the couch and my sister said it was super weird that I would nap when there were men that I didn't even know, working all around me. HAHA, whatever. Sometimes, I just don't give a flying hoot about what people think.
Okay, one more joyful thing and then I'm done talking about my joy, but I'll still be joyful inside. I feel like I'm becoming my true self. For awhile, well, especially in high school and the first few years of college, I don't think I really knew who I was. One time I heard someone say, "How do people 'not know who they are?'" but it's a real problem I used to have, even recently. I think that my true self doesn't dwell too much on negative things, is more laid back, can be more friendly and natural around people, and is a little sassier or something, haha. More teasy and witty or something, I don't know. Hopefully no one reads this and thinks I'm boasting. This is more of a journal for me than anything else. I've been real bad about writing in my actual journal lately. Anyways, I think I'm becoming more myself and becoming more confident and positive. I just feel good. And this is a little personal, but I've never felt ready to meet the right person to marry until now. I've always felt too young, too selfish, too emotional...just simply. not. ready. But I think that who I am continuing to become and mature into, will be ready to meet that person. I'm not saying that I'm desperate to meet the right one any time soon, but if he came along, I think I'd be ready. And I think I'd be able to be more myself around him and therefore be a little more likeable to him than how I have acted in the past. Because nobody wants someone who is negative, selfish, way too emotional, not their self, etc. (I'm not saying that I was always negative, selfish, and too emotional, but I think that I was a little too often). And of course, I still have those days when I'm feeling emotional, sad for no reason, or not super "natural" or myself around others, but I think that's just part of being human.
Soundtrack to my life right now: (blasting these songs with the windows open will result in an instant boost of energy and pure joy)
1. Honey, I'm Good by Andy Grammer (It's really fun to sing, "I could have another but I probably should not. I've got somebody at home, and if I stay, I might not leave alone.")
2. Cigarette Daydreams (thank you Traina kids for introducing me to this song-you guys have the best taste in music and P.S this song has nothing to do with nasty cigarettes)
3. Back Home by Andy Grammer
4. Mr. Almost by Meghan Trainor (just because of the lyrics-the actual song kind of annoys me-I'm not into those girly annoying voices)
5. First Day of My Life by Bright Eyes (ah, so good)
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