The End is Near!

I can't believe that my time here in Alaska is almost over! I definitely have mixed feelings about it, but am mostly excited to go home and see my family and new baby brother that's going to be born and then head off to Europe! 

Lately, the "lodge life" as they call it, has been getting to me. It's the end of the season and I'm worn out... So I've been making lists of things I'm grateful for to keep my spirits up! I never feel like making the lists (unless I'm already in a good mood) but when I make them when I'm down in the dumps, my mood always gets better, almost instantly! So here are a few things I've written down/am coming up with on the spot that I'm grateful for at this time in my life!

1. I can pretty much take a peak out the window or walk outside and get a little mood boost because this place is GORGEOUS. If I ever start thinking that where I'm at is normal, I remind myself that it's totally not normal. It's SO BEAUTIFUL! When I first got here, I was completely in awe at the beauty all the time and now I've gotten more used to it, so sometimes I just have to remind myself that I'm in ALASKA, on an island, at a lodge that resembles The Shire and that an ocean full of whales and other crazy wildlife is right out my window. Oh and I wish I could say I took the below picture, but I didn't. Randi, Nico's girlfriend (Jordan and Nadia's brother) took it. You don't know who that is but photo crediting to her, haha.

2. I've gotten a lot better at knowing what needs to be done in the kitchen, getting stuff done quickly, and serving the guests without being nervous! Manny always tells Nadia and I that we could work at as waitresses now- no problem. I'm not sure I'd want to, but it's nice knowing that I'm getting that experience. 

3. I can always read a good book or watch a good movie to feel like I'm "getting away" for a bit (this has always been a comforting thought to me!) 

4. I can do whatever I want with my future and that's exciting!

5. My family members are all happy and healthy (at least I think they're happy and hope they're happy!) 

6. I feel a little more mature in several ways (examples: dealing with difficult people, seeing other peoples perspectives, trying to push rude comments that people make aside, working hard, etc.) 

7. I'm healthy and balanced with eating right, exercising, and sleeping

8. I get to go home soon- in precisely two weeks and one day! 

9. I've learned that I need to accept that I don't always need to be outgoing or always have something to say- it's okay that I'm quiet at times and I need to accept that part of myself instead of feeling like I'm not enough because I'm not always extremely outgoing and loud

10. I've realized that no one is going to completely understand me  (except God). They aren't going to completely understand what I do, what I say, what I think. I'll be misunderstood often in life. Everyone is-and that's okay! I need to accept myself and my differences from others and know that it's okay to be misunderstood and feel alone in how I think sometimes. I'm my own person and think differently than everyone (everyone thinks differently from everyone) and that's okay. It's not even just okay- it's great!

11. I've learned in greater depth and it's resonated more than ever that I need to be understanding of people and try to see where they're coming from. Here at the lodge, there are a lot of different people with conflicting ideas and ways of dealing with things and sometimes I just have to think, "Okay, they are doing that or thinking that because of blank..." And often times I don't understand why, but I know that there's a reason and that I need to love them and care about them despite how they act and think at times. 

12. I love those empowering moments that give you energy to keep going. I wrote down on one of my positive lists, "I can do anything, even if I feel alone. I can press forward even if it's not the best situation." I am capable of making it through even the worst situations and the hardest times. 

13. I'm grateful for unlimited water bottles! My body is probably made up of 70% water bottle water now because that's all I drink. The water from the tap here is yellow and gross, so we mostly drink water bottles. I'm just glad we have them! They are taaassssttyyyyy, taaaasttty. 

14. Someday I'm going to live in a cute little apartment all on my own and ride my bike to bookstores and make curry while I watch T.V (whatever I want-cause I'll be all alone) and have people over with no roommates being there. And I'll work hard and socialize but I'll come back home and won't feel like I have to impress anyone. Just for a short time I'll do this. Then I'll spend the rest of my life living with roommates and then my future husband. Because that'll make me happy too :) 

15. I click with certain people. I don't click with everyone and I've accepted that that's okay! I still have friendly conversations with everyone and enjoy people in general, but I'm not the type of person that's my goofy, more relaxed self around everyone- and that is A OKAY!

16. Rebounding (jumping on the trampoline) (we have a small trampoline here to exercise on) is a good form of exercise, which is great, since I really don't like running! 

17. I can make my own choices. This is literally the one time in my life, when I don't have a husband or kids or serious responsibilities, when I can make my own choices, and that's exciting! I'm definitely living my life how I want lately and I'm happy about that!

18. I'm glad that I have such sweet family members- they really are my favorite people. 

19. I'm thankful for Kate and hope that she feels better, even though I know the pain of losing her mom will last a long time. I am praying for her and thinking of her daily! 

20. The fact that I get to be a mom someday is SO exciting. It's like owning your own business, sort of, except you're more stuck with it (which is good) and it's way way way more emotionally personal. But I get to help mold my children and I get to go on vacations with my husband and kids and when I'm older, I get to have all of my kids with their husbands/wives and kids together to do fun camping trips and trips to Disneyland and all sorts of fun things! I might even take them here to Alaska to show them where I worked when I was 21 :D

21. I'm getting a new planner (the Day Designer) and that's something to celebrate! My friend here keeps asking me what I'm doing and I keep replying, "Looking at my new Day Designer." I keep looking at pictures of it online. It's being shipped and should be here soon!

22. I get to sleep in soon- every day for almost an entire month (until I go to Europe). If that's not something to be happy about, I don't know what is! Sleeping in is the best thing EVER. I've woken up at 6:00 A.M almost every single morning for 4 months, so I'm ready to sleeeeeep in lots!

23. I'm making more money than I've ever made and I'm saving almost all of it all up! It feels nice to save money. 

24. Did I mention that I get to go home soon!? I will be back in civilization in TWO AND A HALF WEEEEEEKS. I get to drive a car and see other cars driving (seriously, I'm excited for that.) I get to go grocery shopping and see streets and sidewalks and big buildings. And I get to go back to the best civilization ever- San Diego, and see palm trees and the SUN! My oh my, I'm thrilled for it all!