1. Living in cramped quarters with several people will test your patience. I've had to learn to stop trying to control everything and just let things "go with the flow". I've also learned that the dishes aren't always going to get done (sometimes my fault as much as others), some people will take over the living room more than others, and roommates are almost always loud while you're trying to do your homework. I've had to learn how to live with these things and remain happy despite not everything being perfect! Sometimes I think that it's the most ridiculous thing ever that we are put in apartments with roommates in college, who will surely distract us from our studies, either by annoying us or being too much fun, while our main focus should be studying. Then I think about what a prime time it is for us to be learning how to deal with people getting on our nerves. As much as I hope I marry someone who doesn't get on my nerves that much, there's going to be times that he really bugs me and I know our kids are going to drive me up the wall sometimes too. I'll have prepared well by living with some (sometimes) "annoying" roommates!
2. Balancing your social life, studies, religious practices, and time for yourself, seems nearly impossible most days. I can't tell you how many times I've had to say "no" to people asking me to hang out, while at college. I finally reached the point where I stopped feeling guilty for saying "no" because I knew it would stress me out, more than it would benefit me. Of course, having a social life is important, along with the other aspects of life that make us, as humans, happy, but in college, it's an especially difficult task to try to find time for everything. Saying no is sometimes a must. Putting religious studies or anything spiritual above normal studies has always been helpful for me because it calms me down and puts my life in perspective. Grades really aren't everything. Focusing on school studies without any distractions is always necessary. Making time for myself was as necessary as anything else, so I wouldn't lose my mind in all the chaos college brings! Sometimes making time for myself is taking a drive, taking a bubble bath, singing and dancing in my room, taking a nap, cooking, watching a T.V show or movie, reading a book, exercising, meditating, or doing yoga. And there's no reason to feel bad for making time for yourself! In fact, people should probably thank you for spending some time alone, so you don't end up biting their head off when they accidentally break your dishes (yes, many roommates have dropped my dishes!).
3. Being a peacemaker, instead of a drama maker, makes college life so much easier and more fulfilling (oh, and this is true for every time you interact with humans, not just college). In almost every single apartment I've lived in (a total of 5) I was known as the person that stayed "neutral" amongst the roommates in the apartment. I was friends with everyone and took no sides (though in my head one side often did appeal to me more than the others and if I needed to stick up for someone I would, in a kind way). Everyone comes to college from a different background, with different perspectives, and different ways of dealing with situations, so a person can really get in over their head butting heads with someone who doesn't see eye to eye with them on things. Of course, there were some roommates I lived with that I wouldn't be besties with, but I had to learn to keep the peace, and that sometimes that meant keeping my mouth shut. Getting angry doesn't solve anything. Being assertive can help, but never in my life have I seen anger or cattiness or brattiness or judgement solve a problem.
4. People aren't always how you think they'll be and making prejudgments and judgements in general is a waste of energy. Before my Freshman year of college, after I'd been assigned my first set of roommates, but before I'd actually met them, I looked them all up on Facebook. I know you've all done this, so don't even judge! I remember looking at this one girls photos and thinking, "She looks so high maintenance. I can't believe I have to live with her. We're not going to get along." Well, that girl ended up being my best friend in the apartment, a life long friend, and the most down to earth person I've ever met. Yeah, even when I actually met her face to face, the first time, I thought she seemed like a "snot" but after getting to know her I realized she was anything but a snot! I've had other times when I thought some girls were going to be snotty from their Facebook pictures, and turns out they were. It also turns out they'd been through a lot in their lives and probably hadn't been taught how to treat people. I don't know their full stories. But you never know how a person is going to be until you dig down deep and be open to them. Also, going to an all Mormon school, after growing up in San Diego, worried me a little. I thought everyone was going to act as the stereotypical "Utah Mormon" acts, acting more as the "Mormon culture" acts instead of acting as we are really taught to act (we are told to not judge, to not be self-righteous, to be kind to everyone, etc.). I was surprised to find out that while there are a lot of those self-righteous people, there are a lot of down to earth, truly genuine and kind people too; the kind of people who lift you up. Just because a school has a stereotype, doesn't mean everyone is going to be that way.
5. It's hard to stay in touch with your family, and you should try to as best you can, but also not put too much pressure on yourself. I'm very close with my family, but I found it hard to make a lot of time for them. I'm also not a phone/Skype person (actually I sort of detest those things, to be honest...I'm very upset at whoever invented the phone...I just looked it up...it was Alexander Graham Bell. Blast you Alexander.) so I started feeling a lot of pressure, because I felt I wasn't keeping in touch with my family as well as I should have been. The thing I've learned is that the people who love you most, will love you no matter how often or not often you contact them. But you also have to do your part to make some time for them. I'd send my siblings, from both my mom and dad's families (my parents are divorced) cards from time to time. I'd also call and Skype them occasionally and send a lot of texts. It's important to stay in contact, but if there are weeks in between contacting them, don't beat yourself up. You're at college, and I'm sure they understand. The relationships that are meant to stay relationships, will stay relationships through the busy times and the less busy times.
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